I have to remember that each child is different and responds both to Ramadan and Corona differently. Sometimes when we don’t talk to people much and we don’t change our scenery, we get depressed and/or cranky.
My eight year old loves soccer, prodigy and the color red. He is competitive. He is a people person. He wants to connect with friends all of the time. He is rarely shy when meeting new people. He is outgoing and friendly. Joy, anger, sorrow and excitement are all in abundance. I can usually get him to try new foods, projects or ways of doing things. He also needs lots of movement during the day. He unfortunately seems to push the envelope way past everyone’s comfort zones. When he is feeling stressed, he bothers and annoys people. When A is sleepy, the annoying behaviors escalate to astronomic proportions.
My four-year-old is more serious and quiet. Certainly, he can get the giggles, like most children. It just takes him longer to warm up. He is shyer when he meets others. When we are alone, he is a happy little guy. He will be five years old quite soon. When we are alone, he will often draw, or play with toys while singing one of his favorite selections. He does not like to try new things and can be a bit clingier. When he gets sleepy, he either becomes whiny or slap happy.
During Ramadan, I feel like I have less control than I have throughout the rest of the year. It is more difficult to remain healthy. My husband (and subsequently my children) refuse to wear a mask. I can’t make them keep on their masks when we are out. But, I have set my boundaries on this subject. If they decide not to wear a mask, I will not accompany them outdoors. My husband has asked the community to bring over food. He misses his Pakistani faves. So, I am not cooking and we eat whatever is brought. While I appreciate what has been made and dropped off at our house, it certainly is not healthy. I am not trying to foster an attitude of ungratefulness or dissatisfaction. Sometimes a couple of different choices are brought and it feels more like we are eating from an extensive buffet instead of family dinner. It isn’t anyone’s fault. I am grateful for the community who wants to help. I feel torn between wanting to be more healthy and moderating what I am eating and like a guilty glutton. I feel like we are taking more than our share of the resources, yet if I waste them, I feel ungrateful and impractical. So, I am gaining weight, not getting out much, making everyone stay inside even on the nice days. That is making us all grumpy.
We all need some waves of positivity. I have decided to do this with music. This helps A get his energy out and it helps Z find a quiet place to hum and sing. I do both. I exercise with A. I let him make up my routines and let him know how much of a task master he is becoming. I hum with Z and these songs stay in my head for a long time. It is strange that these positive selections give each of us what we need, yet what we need is so very different. I admit to secretly fearing that the innocent positivity of my children will rapidly decrease with age increase. This makes me sad and I know that I am grasping for these positive moments to last.
Ilyas Mao starts us off with a medium paced snapping fingers song that reminds us of all of our wonderful blessings. Of course, his song is called Blessed.
Wonders by Ilyas Mao is a pop sounding song that talks about Allah’s creation.
My four-year-old will sing this song without even thinking about it. It always puts him in a good mood. The song is Good Day by Maher Zain
My children’s new favorite artist this year is Harris J. They love the song Asalamu laikum. But his song Good life is their second favorite.
Rae’f has many that my children and I play for a pick me up. One is called So Real.
The second Raef song is one that my child likes and I find a bit annoying. I know that it is just my trigger. I am annoyed at songs that talk about Freedom, especially when the songs feel a bit smug. This is one of those songs. But, my children love it. It is called freedom ain’t free.
I can’t believe we have gone almost three weeks into Ramadan and we have not talked about the messenger and Prophet, Muhammad (PBUH). This seems unfathomable, I know. So, let’s delve into it.
Most of my childhood was spent in a residential state run facility. Many blind people during the 1970’s and 1980’s attended state run schools for the blind. There was, most often, a separation of church and state. Certainly, at the school, there were religious services, if one wanted to attend. There was a short prayerful silence before eating, if someone was so inclined to pray. We recited the updated version of the pledge every day and every assembly had an avocation where God was mentioned. However, my parents were barely cultural Christians. Besides going to a Seventh Day Adventist camp for one week in the summer just for blind people and occasionally being dropped off at Sunday school as if it were a free babysitter, I did not have regular contact with religion.
In 1997, I was raising small children as a single parent. I tried conservative religion for about eight to ten years before becoming so disillusioned and frustrated with the hypocrisy, that I social distanced without corona. When I had questions about racism, social justice issues and things that seemed to be contradictory, I was told that God knows more than I do and sometimes we just had to accept those things that we did not understand. When asking questions about the trinity, I was told that God could do anything. I felt guilty continuing to ask questions… guilty and stupid. Surely, those older than me understood more than me. I yielded.
When learning about Islam, I never had qualms about the Prophet, Isa (Jesus) as the Muslims believed him to be. In my mind, Muslims made much more sense. Their depiction of Jesus was much more plausible, to me. Okay, the exception is when he spoke as an infant in the cradle. But, miracles are miracles, after all. If I believed the depiction of Jesus as it appeared in the Quran, I didn’t have to contend with Jesus being white, born in a snowy landscape or rack my brain trying to understand the trinity. Some Muslims that I encountered thought that this alone should qualify me as Muslim. They wrongly assumed that my conversion would be easy. After all, they would not even have to convince me that Jesus wasn’t God or that Worshipping any other than Allah/God was shirk (an unforgiveable sin). How disappointed they were when I would not be a white convert trophy. They had reduced Islam down to the identity of Jesus. My conversion had very little to do with who Jesus was. For various reasons, Muslims and Christians might both gasp and shudder at this statement. It had more to do with who the prophet (pbuh) was. Who Jesus *IS* or *IS NOT* is not the only difference between Christians and Muslims.
I embarked on a journey to read what I could about Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). There are Muslims that seem to worship the Prophet (Peace be upon him) like Christians do Jesus… and have the nerve to say that they aren’t associating partners. There are Christians that portray Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) as a seventh century blood thirsty misogynist. I had to try to find the truth.
I was looking for objective sources. Of course, I did not want to find books by conservative Christians, but I did not want to find books by Muslims who might want to gloss over events or sayings that they found troubling.
Many of the most interesting books have been written by Karen Armstrong. She is quite the religious historian. Many of her books talk about Islam and a couple talk about the Prophet specifically. She wrote a biography of the Prophet.
And this one called Muhammad: a prophet for our time.
The next book that I read was by Martin Lings. It is called Muhammad: his life based on the earliest sources.
Both books are on Book Share (for any print impaired individual) and both authors wrote interesting and seemingly objective accounts of the Prophet (PBUH). You can find reviews on both Amazon and Good reads. Both books have been written quite some time ago and both are revered for their objectivity, research and astute observations by those regardless of religion. You can find both on Amazon and at almost any book store. Armstrong’s can even be found on Audible.
There are a few stories that I really enjoy that have been recounted about the Prophet (PBUH). Of course, those that I like best embody the characteristics that I try to emulate. I like the stories that canvas his humanity and wisdom.
I do like Seeker’s hub. But, if we are specifically talking about the prophet, I found the Re-sight Islam podcast quite entertaining and the hosts make it relatable. Okay, they are gamers and reference pop culture a bit too much. I am not that knowledgeable about pop culture and gaming. Yet, I found the podcast thoroughly engaging despite my lack of knowledge. And, bonus points, they have translated the words of Tala Al Badru Alayna into roman Arabic letters so that I can write them down and try to sing the song.
I do want to say that we actively celebrate both Jesus’ and Muhammad’s birthdays (peace be upon them both). Many poems have been written about the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and sung at gatherings to honor him (Mawlids).
When looking for songs that either talked about or praised Prophet Muhammad, I found tons. But, I found less that were in English. I have already previewed some of them on this blog. All of the Tala Al Badru Alayna songs, for example, were about the Prophet entering Mecca. I have also profiled at least two songs that talk about wishing peace and blessings on the Prophet. Here are some more songs about the Prophet (PBUH). By the Way, if you are yearning for more English selections about the Prophet (pbuh), it would be worth your time to check out Islamic cartoons. Almost every Islamic cartoon talks about the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and has at least one song to illustrate their point.
Don’t talk to me about Muhammad is a song about one of the Prophet’s (PBUH) encounters. He sees a woman on the road who needs help carrying a heavy load. He helps her and her only request is that during their long journey, he not talk to her about Muhammad. She blames Muhammad for her hardships and does not like him at all. After she arrives at her destination, she finds out that the very same man who she thought was causing strife among people was the man who carried her load, even when she said horrible things about him. This is by the story teller, himself, Dawud Wharnsby.
Another selection by Dawud Wharnsby is simply called the Prophet’s Nasheed. This song talks about the Prophet’s (pbuh) anxiety over the fate of future Muslims.
Harris J talks about all of the characteristics that make up Muhammad (PBUH) and why he tries to emulate the prophet in the song My Hero.
Harris J also has a pop style, upbeat song called Rasool’Allah, which means messenger of Allah.
Maher Zain sings about Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) destiny as The Chosen One. Of course, I chose the vocal version to profile on my blog.
Zain Bhikha and Native Deen come together to sing Zamilooni which talks about his first revelation. His wife Khadijah comforted him and believed him. This song is as much about his vision, as much as about her belief in her husband.
The Prophet (PBUH) was also known as the trustworthy one. Pagans, Christians, Jews and Muslims knew that they could entrust him with their things. He was honest and truthful with them. His reputation was one that could be trusted with people’s business and livelihood. Even as a child, he was called Al Amin, which is the name of this next tribute by Irfan Maki.
The song Al Mu-Allim also refers to the Prophet (PBUH). Sami Yusuf talks about him being a great teacher.
There are many songs simply called Muhammed. This one is sung by Saif Adam. This is a rockabilly tune with a flute at the beginning.
Apparently, the Ghazali College Choir is accompanying Hussein Kalla on this piece. Al Ghazali was a Muslim mystic and philosopher born in 1050 in Iran.
Here is the song by Hussein Kalla and the college choir.
Khalid Belrhouzi has a song in Arabiccalled Allah’s Messenger. I like Khalid’s voice, so was getting a bit excited. I hoped that it would be in English since the title was in English. I was wrong. Yet, it is a melodic piece. So, I added it here.
Since I did not know about Belrhhouzi’s version of Tala Al Badru Alayna, thus, did not include it in my post about the moon, I am adding it here. It is slow and melodic. Maybe if I write the words in a kind of Roman Arabic script, I can sing along. It is sung in both English and Arabic.
I am trying to edit this post so that I talk less about my particular struggles and more about the songs. My confession is that every time I try to edit, this post grows in length.
Much of my life, if I am honest, feels like I have been experiencing a jihad of some kind. I know that it shouldn’t. But, I also know that sometimes, I am just not thinking clearly. Oh, before I go any further, do I need to define “Jihad?” Here is a concise definition.
When I started this blog, I only wanted to highlight the music that adds the layers of sound and provides a vehicle of deepening worship for Muslims during Ramadan. My general idea was to make every attempt at keeping my own personal struggles out of the blog. But, with each and every post, it is gravely apparent that I am unable to do this. Music is intimate, the hearing and experience of digesting a song creates a chemical reaction within the hearer. Some writers can discuss a song without talking about the feelings and experiences that either surround the song or that the song invokes. In some way, I envy them. Obviously, I am unable to do this and must infuse the most vulnerable parts of my life when blogging about the music.
I am in the midst of a marriage filled with psychological, financial and spiritual abuse. There, I said it! I don’t believe that I am in any physical danger. But, my marriage is not based on mutual respect and there are few, if any, of my personal boundaries that have not been transgressed on a regular basis. When my in-laws are here, which is at least six months out of the year, each negative situation is fifty times worse than it would be if there were only two adults in the house. Add the fact that, not only am I blind, but have been diagnosed with epilepsy and although my husband’s income is increasing, so are my medical bills. I love staying home with and teaching my children. However, in four months, my youngest will be going to kindergarten all day long. I work part time from home, but the work and pay are spiratic.I’m getting older and find that my memory is not top notch. I am finding it more difficult to learn Arabic or retain information. Is it the stress? Is it the epilepsy? This feels like I am drowning in a lava pit. Yet, I know all of my blessings and privileges.
I only write the above paragraph to be transparent and I hope that the five readers of my blog understand this. Yes, I have five people who have subscribed to my blog. That does not mean that they read it. It just means that an email prompts them to do so. I am also aware that there could be people who stumble upon my blog and do not subscribe. Yet, I understand that this is mostly for me because other people have much more important things to attend to than to read my musings with a litany of songs at the end. I also spoke of my current struggles to give any readers some prospective when they are going through their own difficulties.
I want to also declare that I am aware of my many privileges. I am white. I am well educated. My epilepsy is slight and is concentrated in one area of my brain. This means that I don’t convulse, lose consciousness or lose the ability to control my body’s organs. When I am not taking my medication, I have tremors, sometimes slur my speech and can zone out for a couple of seconds. I am on a low dose of medicine and although expensive, has few side effects for me. I have lived all of my life totally blind, thus, none of my stress is due to my absence of sight. Okay, there are transportation barriers and we all know that the sighted public has put up their share of other barriers. But, these are not new and do not effect me anymore than the average well-adjusted blind person. I have some very supportive and loving family members. I do not worry about my or my children’s physical safety. I get to stay home and spend time with my children. My husband makes an income that will most likely never render us homeless, hungry or hankering for heat. I know that there are many women in situations similar or worse to mine who don’t possess the privileges that I do. I don’t want this post to turn into a novel about my struggles. I’d rather discuss the songs that help me through said struggles.
So, songs that assist one through their struggles, when done respectfully, are essential tools in dealing with difficult situations. Of course, these songs can’t seem like trite sayings and glib clichés that are often expressed by well-meaning outsiders.
Everyone has struggles and faith-based music seeks to address those struggles and encourage you to turn to God or at least a higher power.
Islam is no different. Many of the songs in Islam discuss struggles in terms of Palestinian conflict or addressing third-world hunger. I am not making light of these struggles nor denying their relevance. I just don’t feel like it is my place to discuss them at length.
I have also tried to stay away from those misguided compositions that suggest that our struggles are, somehow, a gift from God and we will be rewarded for them. This sounds too much like a pile of maneur that one uses to fill the aching hole beneath the smile. I understand the desire to comfort or be comforted. I just have a hard time believing that our struggles have either been given by God as tests or will be counted as rewards in the hereafter.
The songs that I have found are a bit more generic and can be applicable to any struggle. I have also omitted the few songs from previous posts. Make me strong by Sami Yusuf, After Hardship comes Ease by Saif Adam, Let it go by Maher Zain, Never Alone by Rashid Bhika and the afore mentioned Ilyas Mao selections are certainly on the top of my list. But, I wanted to find some new ones. You can never have too many survival songs.
Zain Bhikha’s Free reminds us that when we are plummeting, we are still free in Allah and that Allah will be with us. It sounds much more cliché when I write it. My words don’t do the song justice. His voice is always clear and melodic and is balanced with the South African harmonies that we have grown to love. Take a listen.
Here is another selection by Zain Bhikha. It is a more upbeat selection, reminding us to never cease trying. The song is called Get up again.
Human .by Harris J talks about his fears of being alone and feelings of not being enough or satisfied.
Khalid Belrhouzi and Dawud Wharnsby come together to make a masterpiece. Actually, I think that Wharnsby performed it first in English. Then, remade this selection with Khalid Belrhouzi. It is called Silent Sunlight. This is half Arabic and half English. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnVq8otuZyM
If you want an English only version with a children’s choir and an amazing children’s solo at the beginning, check this one out. The child’s range and vocal precision is astounding.
Sami Yusuf’s ballad sounding In Every Tear also reminds us that Allah is always with us and sees each tear we cry.
Peace has always been important to me. I admit that I am a pacifist. Two things that drew me to the Quaker religion was their radical and long standing commitment to peace and their unprogrammed and silent worship. Okay, their positions and actions concerning social justice, their emphasis on integrity and simplicity and the fact that progressive Quakers seemed to be accepting of other religions were also definite factors that made Quakerism a natural and magnetic choice for me.
Focussing on the topic, I believe that violence solves nothing. I don’t believe that we can get along with everyone or that this Utopian society will ever exist. I might concede that occasionally violence is the most expedient or most viable answer. Yet, it is always a short term solution to a much larger problem. I do believe that violence is never a sustainable answer. I recognize that peace without some form of violence is sometimes not attainable, either. But, in most cases, I reach for conflict resolving tactics that will cause the least amount of harm. And, of course, just because a situation did not escalate to violence does not necessarily mean that it is or was peaceful. Violence is not the antithesis of peace. There can definitely be nonviolent nonpeaceful situations.
My commitment to peace does not mean that I believe that a bully should be placated or that peace should be at the expense of respect and dignity. Peace is certainly different than placation.
Sometimes it is just challenging to find peace in my own head. I relish in the peace of the early morning, the peacefulness of children at play, the peace of our home. I am always searching, yearning for a more peaceful existence. I do understand the call to a simple existence of asceticism. It feels pure and most peaceful. I don’t believe that it should be our goal to remain there. But, I understand the pull.
Especially nowadays, it seems that no one understands the finer points of conflict management… … actually, they don’t even understand the definition, much less said finer points. Amidst covid-19, my children seem to be taking the public’s lead. Many times I feel as if they have digressed to a younger age and the lack of sun has resulted in the inability to reason and think. Hmmm, maybe I need to stop teaching school curriculum and stick to conflict management strategies. I know. I know. You are saying that they are just giving me ample opportunity to stop breathe and think. And, hopefully, my example will be emulated.
Yes, I believe that Islam is a peaceful religion when practiced as it was intended. I am not the only one. Check out this NPR spokesperson and acclaimed author, Arsalan Iftikhar’s book on the subject.
I hold that same belief about Christianity. Christians are told to be peacemakers. I do not want to get into a debate with either Christians or Muslims on this subject. I just want to talk about and listen to all of the songs of peace that are written and sung by Muslim artists. Hopefully, I can soak up some of that peace, like I soak up the Colorado sun on a warm summer’s day.
I am, however, leaving out the songs about Unifying under one Umma (community). These often, actually divide the Muslims from the non-Muslims and in some cases, this manipulative call for peace is so that they can take action against those who are not Muslim. I do recognize that there does need to be peace between Sunni and Shia, as well as finding a peaceful existence for those smaller groups like Ahmadis who seem to be targets for the larger Muslim population. However, this call for peace and unity can also be a manipulative divisive tactic. This is the opposite of the intention of this post and for this reason, I have eliminated those types of songs from this post. These are songs specifically about reaching for inner peace, communal peace and being a peace maker. I do admit that some are about proclaiming Peace upon the prophet and I realize that this is certainly different than calling for world or communal peace. Yet, they are worthy to be in my peace category.
As I was listening to a variety of songs about peace from Muslim artists, this track came up by Ahmad Jamal. It is called peace at last and was produced in 1973. Here is a taste of Islamic smooth jazz. I realize that “Islamic Smooth Jazz,” sounds just like “non-Islamic smooth Jazz.” I just wanted to point out that there are definitely prominent Muslim jazz musicians.
Not to digress from the main topic, but if you are looking for more Muslim jazz artists, rest assured, there are plenty. Check out this link to get you started.
I think one of the best songs about Peace was sung both before and after Cat Stevens became Muslim. Even before he converted to Islam in the 1970’s, his “peace train,” was quite popular. I think that this song was my favorite song of his. But, I am not sure that this would qualify because he actually sang the song before he converted to Islam. In any case, if you haven’t heard it, I am sure that you will enjoy it. Then, you can compare to the remake that he and Zain Bhikha performed after he became Muslim.
Zain Bhikha took this song and remade it into something even more awesome. Check out he and Yusuf Islam’s collaboration.
Abdullah Rolle talks about finding inner peace. It has quickly become one of my favorite reflective selections.
The song “peace be upon you,” by Maher Zain actually is asking for peace and blessings to be on the Prophet (PBUH), but is an awesome song, in its own right.
Following in that same vain, Raef’s catchy tune,”Peace and Blessings,” should not be overlooked.
Of course, we can’t overlook Dawud Wharnsby’s “A Whisper of Peace.” The vocals and lyrics are refreshing and reflective.
I was not sure if Kareem Salama openly identified as Muslim. The version that I am posting here has a Country western vibe. He was raised in Oklahoma and says that his roots and childhood definitely influences his music. Sure, he had an Arabic (Egyptian, to be exact) name. But, it wasn’t until I saw an interview on the Deen show that I realize that indeed, he identifies as Muslim. I did not want to assume that this was his religious affiliation solely based on his name. Here is a selection called Generous Peace. He even has a more pop style version of this song.
Here is a slightly different version with an Arabic chorus.
I know that if I were to go to the mosque (Masjid) very few of those women will have had a day off of cleaning and cooking. Especially during Ramadan, women are run ragged cooking and cleaning. Sure, it would be nice if those women got a long slumber during the day, but with today’s working women, that is most likely not the case. Hopefully, since many do not work on Sunday, this will definitely be a great day for them. Now during Covid-19, women are teachers, housekeepers, (sometimes) at home workers, and during Ramadan, do so much more.
Wahhabism is creeping into our mosques, more and more. We are in this weird quagmire where the nonMuslims and western culture celebrates and honors their mothers, but many Muslims don’t. Although, I will tell you that, despite who they want to blame it on, Pakistanis are also celebrating Mother’s day in droves. Those who identify with a western culture and who are also Muslim must choose. Children come home from school with Mother’s Day gifts that are downplayed in Muslim households. We teach our children not to celebrate Mother’s Day and conversely, not to really do something nice for their mother on that day. Last year, my son came home with a mother’s Day gift and … … Yes, I admit that I broke fast to eat peanut butter crackers that he made me for breakfast. This year, my husband actually got up to make the early morning breakfast. My little children made me a card. They are all trying. … Sometimes, sons teach husbands. The love and excitement of my children is so innocent, so sweet and so contagious.
I am a bit down, today, however. I know that there are so many mothers who did not get any gift from their children because these children have not been to school to make them any gift and the husband sees no value in observing a day of respect for mothers. I grieve for all of the children who are in environments where the adults downplay their natural desires to show love and appreciation in such a grandiose way. Sometimes, joy just needs to be expressed in a jubilant way. And, yet, it makes me sad that my sons’ father does not help and take the lead in teaching them appreciation.
Many Muslims shun Mother’s day. I am not sure how this makes sense, after all, heaven is supposed to be under the feet of the mother. Arguments include:
We honor our mothers “every day,” we don’t need nor want only one special day to do it.
It is just a day for commercialism and materialism to reign supreme.
We don’t celebrate non-Muslim holidays.
The justifications to shun Mother’s day fall short of cogent arguments and make the ones spouting these views just look like woman hating antiwestern jerks. And, if we go by their actions, there is definitely truth in that appearance. Although I am certain that it is unnecessary, I give a short response to these arguments.
You can’t possibly honor your mother every day. Life gets in the way. And, understanding misogyny, which seems to be rampid in Muslim circles, I doubt that she feels respected, understood and appreciated. Even if she does, it is nice to say it again. Additionally, if, in fact, you (in general) actually do “honor and appreciate” her every day, then, you would have no problem also performing this most appropriate action today. The rest of the world will now join you in your daily celebration of MOTHERS everywhere. I am not sure how we can religiously propose that doing something nice for one’s mother is haram or forbidden. Muslims are so obsessed and anxious about doing something that is like the Christians that they have not fully thought this thing through. Let’s say that Islam teaches to always respect and appreciate their mothers. Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say that, for one day, others are treating their parents like Muslims are taught to do every day of the year? Couldn’t Muslims proclaim that for once, Christians are imitating Muslims? Muslims should be at the forefront of honoring and appreciating one’s mother.
It is not about materialism, although, if we are going to spend money, why not do it on a gift for someone special in one’s life… … as opposed to an electronic for one’s self… … for example. Many times, no one wants to spend money on others and tends to pontificate on capitalism and commercialism. Yet, that subject seems to slip from one’s mind when they are purchasing items for themselves. Besides, it doesn’t have to be about money at all. If one is truly against materialism, forego the gift and serve your mother for the day. Clean the house. Make the meals for the day. Rub your mother’s feet. Plant some nice flowers in the garden. Finish the mountain of house repairs that she has been requesting you to complete. Write and sing her a song or poem. Spend time playing her favorite game or watching her favorite show, etc.
If Muslims really did not want to imitate Christians, they would not join together, eat or pray on their holidays. No gifts would be given during Eid. And, as long as we are going there, they would not circumambulate the Kaba seven times or throw stones at Shayton during the Hajj because, well, Pagans did it first.
I find the arguments on not celebrating selfish, clueless about the heart of the prophet and totally patriarchal. In short, I find them “unislamic,” as I understand Islam. I am aware that I see Prophet Mohamed more of a feminist than most people do. I try to focus on the Prophet’s heart and less on the daily mundane actions (such as sleeping on his right side). I tend to look for the heart of the ruling, as opposed to following the letter of the law, especially when the letter of the law seems to contrast with the intent. Yet, it baffles me as to why Muslims have not taken the lead and said: “Islam teaches us how to love and respect our mothers. Let us show you how it is done.”
We haven’t even touched upon honoring the spiritual growth of mothers or making sure that mothers everywhere feel safe from emotional and physical abuse. We have not talked about understanding the stress that mothers can be under and supporting good mental health for them. Of course, this also includes those women who take on many roles of a mother, even if they do not have any children. I want to give a shout out to the mothers who are estranged from their children or who have had their children pass before they have left this world. And, mothers try their best, but sometimes there is guilt to always make the right decision.We are imperfect and sometimes we don’t make the right decision. This is a day to forget the sadness, guilt and harm.
*I am glad that Muslims are finally expressing their appreciation for their mothers through song. Here is a song from a Muslim who obviously shares my sentiments. It is called #1 for me by Maher Zain.
Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) has collaborated with Rashid Bhikha and wrote a song called Your Mother. This uplifting children’s song is a good addition to my Mother’s day collection.
Sami Yusuf wrote an attribute to his mother, after she passed on.
A Canadian poet and rapper, Ali Islam wrote a spoken word poem called Dear Mother to music. This is a dedication to his mother.
I found Irfan Maki’s song Mama a favorite of my children’s.
Different countries celebrate Mother’s Day on different days. Awakening Records has a mother’s day message for all mothers, no matter when you celebrate, from a group of Muslim Artists.
Part of Ramadan is remembering to be thankful. Last year, we had a “Grateful jar,” to encourage my children to remember to be greatful, I unfortunately had to incorporate an extrinsic reward to be enjoyed after Ramadan. We wrote down the things we were grateful for, preferably with the date that we recognized the gratitude. The person who had the most grateful papers got to decide on a field trip of sorts. My husband would not participate. He gave the excuse that he did not have time. I just let it go. When it came to counting the papers, the rest of my family, the three other adults, did not want to go on the field trip of sorts. Excuses were made and trips were canceled. It was a major let down for everyone. Hence, no one wants to participate this year.
So, it is super difficult to teach gratitude this year. The only thing that I can do is to be the best example. And, I admit that it is doubly hard when gratitude is used as a weapon of manipulation. When gratitude is used to make one feel indebted to another. When someone does something for the sole purpose of ingratiating themselves or exaggerating their contributions to make the other feel guilty, it feels counterproductive to even practice a regular recognition of gratitude.
And, after reading this quite secular, yet intellectual poignant article, I feel a bit better about my children’s reluctance to display gratitude. I mean, forcing gratitude is insincere and does not really make one grateful. Yet, there were no suggestions on how to battle the entitled attitude that seems to prevail when gratitude is ignored. I guess I am conflicted about how to cultivate real gratitude without inducing guilt, encouraging lethargy or elevating inauthentic sincerity.
I have realized that more than listing everything that I think they should be grateful for, I want them to be observant and introspective. I want to help them develop a habit of observing what is going on around them, understanding how events have shaped their lives and mustering up sincere gratitude when it is warranted. Yes, I want them to appreciate those gifts and blessings that are given. I want my children to be appreciative of what they have without having their gratitude exploited for someone else’s gain. I don’t want gratitude to turn into complacency and dampen any goal that they might want to reach. Gratitude should not be the weapon used to keep them toting the status quoe for the benefit of someone else. Of course, at the other extreme, I don’t want them to be entitled or perpetually discontent, either. It is important for them to be critical thinkers. I want my children to be as resourceful as possible and that is quite challenging when you are thinking with your frontal lobe. I want them to be clear headed enough to find a way to extract a lesson from some unfortunate life circumstances or have the fortitude to make a bad situation better when possible. It is good to smile in the face of diversity. No, I don’t want them to become complacent or entitled. No, I don’t want anyone to make them feel guilty for not being gracious enough. No, I don’t want anyone exploiting their appreciation. No, I don’t want them to feel grateful for toting the status quoe.
All that said, songs of gratitude do help me center my own emotions and remind me of what is truly important. Thus, I am posting some of my favorites, here.
Shukran Allah by Nazeel Azami is a song in mostly Hindi. Until YouTube, I did not know that it was a slightly changed cover composed by the duo Salim-Sulaiman. Nazeel’s version is beautiful with a classical piano beginning. The chorus makes it singable for native English speakers.
Next is a piece of art with great harmonious acoustics on a natural feeling percussive backdrop. The song is titled Thank you Allah by Raihan
Many times Alhamdulillah is used to show gratitude to Allah. Maher Zain is thanking Allah for never leaving his side, even when he was not practicing his faith. The song is called Alhamdulillah, but some have it listed as Thank you Allah.
I can’t resist the duo of Cat Stevens and Zain Bhikha. I’ll overlook this reference to the big bad devil, Shaytan, to listen to this gem. The song is called Give Thanks to Allah.
I said that I was not going to bombard this blog with Arabic songs that might be melodious in nature, but have no meaning to the reader. For the most part, I will hold to that promise. However, we also must talk about the Quran, language and music.
First, let’s talk about the Quran. Everyone knows that the Quran was written in Arabic. This is not because Arabic is the most superior language. It is just the language that the prophet spoke and the language that most of the companions spoke. It would have been strange and ineffective to reveal the Quran in any other language.
There are key Islamic words and phrases (Yes, Arabic phrases) that everyone who listens to music by Muslim artists should know.
To learn some basic vocabulary, check out these links.
I use to love languages and received high marks in Spanish. That was the only language offered at my school. Language was intertwined with culture and I was deeply interested in both. I use to think that I was reasonably good at it. When I married, I embarked on a journey to learn my husband’s language. It is not Arabic, but there are commonalities. I imagined that I could learn his native language and we both could eventually learn Arabic together. My first kernel of wisdom came quickly. Knowing a thing does not mean that you “are” or “want to be” a good teacher. At one time, I was up to 75 known verbs (Urdu conjugation for the present, present participle and past included), at least thirty adjectives, understood the differences between male and female and I could have small conversations. And, then I went to Pakistan. My husband’s family either genuinely *could* not… …or *acted* as if they could not understand me. I was crushed. This, with the fact that I could not find a good teacher delayed my language learning. I did have a good teacher at the beginning, “thanks Fatima P K.” But, our lives became busy with children and I believe that she noticed that my familial situation was not going to be conducive for productive and continuous learning. My in-laws still don’t understand a word that I am saying, whether it be English or Urdu. They seem to rarely understand a word that I speak in either language. So, I admit that something that I really like is now surrounded by trauma and triggers. I’m working on it.
I didn’t/don’t want either me or my children just to memorize the language. My memory is not that good, anyway, at least not as of late. But, I want a relationship with the language. I want to find someone who will support and give me one-on-one guidance. I want to speak and listen to a couple of people. I need to know that I am making progress. If my sentences bore the individual, this learning process is stalled. My husband is busy and teaching is not necessarily his passion. My in-laws do not want to teach me the language, either. Honestly, they might not have the capability. But, I also think that there is joy in knowing that one can talk freely about another without that person actually understanding what they are saying. Thus, it has been forever stalled.
My child is taking Arabic classes at a Masjid. I must admit, I am not impressed with the Arabic learning that has been offered. After four years, he is still learning letters and while he might know some prayers or verses from the Quran, the only value he could add to a conversation in Arabic is the greeting “aasalaamu alaikum.” I do admit that I am not that involved in his learning process. Thus, I do take some responsibility for his delayed learning. This just fills me with guilt, but has not helped me to move forward in this learning process. I saw a comprehensive Montessori system of learning Arabic. My husband does not want to spend the money. I really want to amerce myself in this curriculum. Since Covid-19, we are doing our Arabic lessons online and my husband is helping him learn the suras (verses) of the Quran. It is still slow going. Right now, the motivation for A is that he is in an introductory class with much smaller children. He wants to be with his friend, Adam. My husband is correct in some way, I’d have a hard time teaching Montessori Arabic. But, if I could get a few parents to teach it with me, it might work. I have lots of ideas for fun games, letter puzzles and interactive learning opportunities. I have put out some feelers, but no one seems interested. I received a recommendation for an Arabic teacher, but I think that I overwhelmed her by asking too many questions about the curriculum and wanting to be UBER involved in the learning process. It was that, or the fact that I divulged my blindness and wanted to talk about making the curriculum accessible so that I could help my child learn. I admit to being a bit too intense sometimes. I am working on *not* being so overwhelming for people. I confess to being passionate about education and the learning process. I have looked for **fun** online Arabic classes. Again, there is a money flow problem. Anyway, Montessori learning and/or interactive game learning is just not happening.
I am perfectly aware of all of the language learning software that is available from various public libraries. I need more one-on-one assistance. Besides, when it comes to Arabic, I don’t have anyone to speak it with. Some blind friends say that Duolingo is accessible. I tried, but they wanted me to find the correct Arabic letter. That was not very accessible on the phone. Yet, I should look at it, again. These sound like excuses. So, I will continue my efforts to learn. Besides, what is the alternative?
I know Americans who have said that they heard the recitation of the Quran and was instantly spellbound. This was not the case for me. Yet,
I admit that when I hear certain songs, I am instantly enthralled, even if I do not understand the lyrics. I have already showcased the song by Ben Ammi called “The glorified ninety-nine names of the prophet.” I would love to learn how to sing this one. If I could do the call to prayer and Ben Ami’s song, I’d really feel accomplished. Additionally, I have discussed the marvelousness of “Tala al Badru Alayna,” before, so I will not rehash that discussion. However, if you have not read the post, please go back and do so. The links are worth the few minutes. The post is called, “A Lunar look at Ramadan.”
Music, I find is different. It can elicit thoughts and emotions, even if I can’t understand the language. Of course, there have been a few times when I was fooled into thinking that a song was beautiful. Then, when it was translated, the lyrics demoted the song to “just okay” status. It is likely that if any of these songs were properly translated into English, I might find that they hold some Wahhabist views that I would find distasteful. However, I am going on the assumption that they do not and, for that reason, they speak to either me or my children. All that said, here are some other listen worthy selections. I’ll probably put more selections that talk about Ramadan in other languages on the blog, when I talk about different cultures and their celebrations of Ramadan. Take a listen to these.
Haddad Alwi’s tranquil I’diroof is a spellbound piece with an elegant piano introduction.
Another selection by Haddad Alwi is Salam Ramadan. This duet with Gita Gitawa is inspiring.
A song that gets many artists adding their own flare is “Solatuwasalam.” Here is a version by Raihan that stands out for its acappella harmonies.
Raef has a southern inspired version called “Southern Salawat,”
La Ilaha ill Allah by Mohammed Haars made me cry the first time I heard it. The beautiful children’s voices are featured on the selection.
For a more hiphop/pop version, check out this one by Nadeem Mohammed.
Awakening Records has produced this song “Kun Anda” by Humood Khudder. This song makes me want to snap my fingers and smile every time I hear it. It is also featured in Raef’s “Price Tag.”
Illahi teri chaukhat par by Junaid Jamshed is a wonderful peaceful meditative selection. This artist grew much more conservative in his later years. That is a travesty. Still, I like this piece.
Sami Yusuf’s “Asmaa Allah,” is a great example of a song with a vulnerable crescendo transforming to a strong Allah Akbar ending.
Esmaani by Hamza Namira has a strong percussion base with a memorable melody.
Keep me true, sung by Hamood Khuddir was one of the first Islamic Nasheeds that I heard during Ramadan. In 2012, we had just moved into a new house and I was still nursing my, now, seven-year-old. This was one of the first that I put on my playlist.
Maher Zain and Irfan Maki come together to sing an inspiring “Allahi Allah Kiya Karo.” My children and I get this song stuck in our head and sing it all day long.
Nashtesh Belena,” is another song by Maher Zain which is peacefully performed in Arabic
Are there more? Do you have a song that speaks to you? Please respond with your favorites.
I still have lots to do. I need to help my eight-year-old do school work that he did not complete yesterday. I need to fold laundry and clean.
As a way to reflect and get some insight as to last year’s Ramadan, just in case I forgot, I wanted to reread my previous posts. Sometimes, they inspire me. But, somehow, I only found about seven of them. I know that I wrote over thirty. I wrote about feeling lonely. I wrote about hiphop and the Muslim experience. I wrote about the call to prayer and the various people who have provided their voice. I wrote about a plethora of different subjects. Then, since I thought that the posts were on wordpress, I deleted them from my computer. Now I can admit that they were so very awesome and no one will ever see them… … as if people read my blog the first time that I put them on word press. (Smile) But, now, I must start again. This is so disappointing and exhausting. The only good part of this is that I have lots of selections to choose from when writing my posts.
Things missing this Ramadan include:
My previous blog posts
Excitement from children
Familial kindness and love
Energy
The moon, we still have not seen it. There are too many clouds.
I surmise that the previous four will be found when we find the moon.
If I were craftier, I’d print out mazes to help my children find the moon amidst all of the grumpy clouds.
Here are some songs about the moon to maybe help us find it.
The first is a song sung by children. This song has been done many different ways. But, this rendition by children sounds innocent and heart stopping. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFiYk_fl068
Most Muslim organizations in America, at least, have taken the virus seriously and have closed their mosques for the month long observance. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that there were quite a few Pastors from Christian churches who refused to close their doors for the Easter holiday, only two weeks earlier. In any case, most Muslims are celebrating a new type of Ramadan this year. I acknowledge that many Muslims are having a difficult time with social distancing and not making meaningful connections this Ramadan. But, I’m an old white woman, progressive in whatever spiritual beliefs that I hold, I have two young children, a Pakistani husband who is perfectly find with conservativeness and … … Yes, I also have a disability. Thus, social distancing is the flavor of the Ramadan month. I usually get a side of exclusion with my rice or an ample amount of apathy slathered on my flat bread. I’ll leave my comments about social distancing and Ramadan struggles for a later post.
Frankly, I’m feeling grumpy and the worst thing that a grumpy person can do is find one of their favorite soap boxes to stand on while they are in this inconsolable mood. Conservative muslims and/or struggles of the disabled (specifically in religious circles) are definitely familiar soapboxes.
The night before the fasting, my children got their binoculars out and look for the moon. It was cloudy and they could see nothing. But, that did not stop them from grabbing a blanket and spending fifteen minutes outside, trying to find the moon. They thought that they were on a moon treasure hunt. They grabbed binoculars, a flashlight (for each of them) their favorite stuffy and more than a few blankets for this festive moon siting occasion. Here is a moon song to commemorate their excitement.
Not only was this anticlimactic affair the catalyst to a disappointing first day of Ramadan, the fact that there were no howling neighbors just made things worse. Thanks to the Corona virus, Sometimes our neighbors will all go outside at about the same time and howl at the moon. I find it a waste of time and vocal ability, but my children love it and have a strong desire to channel their inner wolf.
The first day was an utter disaster and Corona is only indirectly responsible for it’s overwhelming suckiness.
My eight-year-old did absolutely no school today. He flat out refused. No computer math games, no art wheel making, no telling about our bed time story, no story time on Youtube for the younger one, no board game to strengthen math skills, no Alexa game to enhance vocabulary… … the only thing that was done today was wrestling around and weird playing with his little brother. Unfortunately, there was no such determination when it came to fighting with or picking on his little brother. If this was just a (one time thing), I’d take it in stride, but it seems to be happening more and more. And, I’m not in a place where I can analyze, be a cheerleader to mobilize the troops and/or change it up with a creative method of making him do his work. And, for the record, I do believe that children can “digress,” back to the baby stage. The evidence is my four-year-old’s preferred communication style, the ever popular wordless whine and my eight-year-old’s defiant obstinate stomp.
I absent mindedly broke the fast within the first three hours of being functionally awake. I know, if you had read any of my earlier posts, you will note that I don’t identify as Muslim. But, I fast with my husband. I don’t tell him that I am fasting. It is a secret (well, kind of secret) affair for me. I think that it might help me develop characteristics that are important to hone for good parenting and as a good person. I do try to meditate and pray throughout the day. Thus, I find fasting and meditating prayer beneficial, so I will make every attempt to do these things. I don’t tell my husband for a variety of complicated reasons. Let’s just say that my faith journey is my own and I don’t need anyone else to micromanage or criticize or scrutinize it for me.
I accidentally made the dinner too spicy for anyone to eat — even though I knew that my husband would never order out. Actually, I made the sauce too spicy and the red pepper started to smoke and burn everyone’s eyes. I started the dinner again and I thought that I finally made something that my husband would hopefully enjoy. The one thing that turned out half way decent was the rice. “As if someone can mess up rice,” you say. And, I will tell you that it has been done several times, in this very house. Today was the day for perfect fluffy rice — rice that I can’t stand. I would be satisfied if I only ate rice twice a year. My plan was to eat salad while my husband and children ate a rice and chicken dish.
Then, some charitable Muslims brought over food and my dinner was relegated to the freezer for a time in the future. They actually brought over “LOTS” of dinner. So, we have grapes and dates to break the fast. We have yogurt and parathas to make sure that my husband breaks his fast in the “proper way.” (GRRRRRR). It isn’t that I’m ungreatful. I had just spent a large amount of time attempting to prepare something that would be enjoyable and it has been stuffed into the freezer for “when there isn’t anything else to eat,” time.
I was ready to go back to sleep after the first five hours of being awake and that desire only intensified with every minute. I could use a bit of comedy, like the March 2020 zoom conference comedy by Zara Khan.
But, my mellifluous discoveries are not suppose to include comedy. So, this is all that I can muster up this evening. Maybe it will give you solace. Maybe I’ll experience that comfort after I put everyone else to bed while inhaling some aromatic hot tea… … maybe.
The melodious journey through Ramadan: 